Sunday, November 14, 2010

iDrew: Three Poems


well i got a reply from this editor
asking how i do my name
i said
iDrew to co-ordinate with my titles
you know how we girls like
things to match

he replied
well miss iDrew
is a bit of a funny little word
as you like playing around with words

now i’m wondering
how the fuck does he know
i’m so not blessed
in that department
and why are men so obsessed

but i’m thinking of making up
a new word for titles
it will be at the top of the page
yet i’m betting most he editors
still won’t find it
not even with a diagram
on the cuntents page


with a tinsel halo
and a pair of little feather wings
butter wouldn’t melt
dressed in white
like a choir
we were singing naff pop songs
as loud as we could
snaking our way
along the high street
pretending we were dead good

lined up
on the guest list
we sounded like a latin prayer
mia donna christina
emma victoria alice emma
rachel drew hannah gemma
holly joanne holly may sophie

but after the club shut
we were that dun in on holy water
hannah had a gutter wee
down the side street by monsoon      
donna caught a whiff of the body shop
threw up on their doorstep
she almost passed out outside waterstones
sat on the pavement taking deep breaths
legs wide open
for no apparent reason
tossed a burger
at the window of jane norman
holly had dun her first pill
was electric and sparklin’ and buzzin’
all loved-up with everyone
one of the emma’s gave it large
about some flash buff bloke
fingered for a phone number
and a bottle of doubleewekaydee blue
alice reckoned she’d given some lad
a shuffle in his pants
slut rachel fessed she went
so much further
than that

becci’s hen night was well wicked
shame becci vanished with the stripper
wasn’t around to witness
christina flashing her tits at some fit copper

even though we’d forgotten
most of the words       
we was still singing robbie’s angels
with our voices ever so saintly and sweet
that angelic
are we


it’s not my pussy
if anything it’s a lion
even down to a little tiny
golden mane
it’s not my muff
or minge
and don’t call it a fanny
it’s not victorian
gash sounds like an injury
vagina is just
so text book medical
but there really is no need
to cradle it in a gusset
of fanciful euphemisms
my cunt is my cunt
beautiful and divine
glorious and heavenly 
and i so love my little cunt
for it gives me so much
pleasure and ecstasy

Writing under the name of iDrew to co-ordinate with her titles, Essex girl Drew has previously been published in various magazines such as: ‘The Delinquent’, ‘Battered Suitcase’, ‘All Things Girl’, and the ‘Read This Skin Deep Anthology’.  She enjoys shopping, boys and clubs but claims these are all merely research for her writing.   She is also one of the founding members of the Clueless Collective and can be found at:


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