Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Gustavo Rivera

Of importance, the valve-cloud

The electric plant is a left-on roar
its two mechanical pillars
an orange stripe of the
yakking sky escaping its role as prey.
This marking is of special importance
this valve-cloud.
It is cold. I missed my gloves last night
when I lost your phone calls.
Why did he look at me that way?
I asked myself observing the police vehicle
across the bus station.

The shower

In the shower feelings of loneliness overwhelm me
and I masturbate. If I’m not hung-over I’ll cum.
In the shower the image of your self will pop into my head.
It is more likely that I’ll cum when I think of you.
I miss you a lot, but I don’t want to see you.
I don’t want to speak to you.
Our physical contact makes me uncomfortable.
You broke my heart, do you understand this?
Leave me alone.
I am going to stop writing now to masturbate.
At this point I will not even attempt to keep myself from thinking of you.
I hate you.

My mom and science

For a long time I don’t think my mother understood science.
She thought I could control certain aspects of my behavior
and I felt pressured to be a certain way I couldn’t be
and felt, at times, like a disappointment.
Eventually she became a Buddhist
and accepted me for who I was.

Something I wrote based on the dream I had the night I saw you from outside of the stands, when you couldn’t see me, but that is of no importance, and the entrance framed your body, a dynamic portrait, and outside, only the closest stars shined

I’ve been more of my dreams lately. I blame it on my reading.
I saw you close behind me, and we were sitting back to back.
For some reason I cannot recall we were working together
and I was using your laptop, and we were glad to be so close.
I sat myself a little further back, and our spines felt each other
and you didn’t pull away, and I thought, “Oh, my god, she didn’t pull away.”
You then laid your back against mine and left it there.
I finished working on whatever I was working on
because that, like most things in our lives, was just an excuse
and I put my arms around your neck, and you smiled.

A spin on my existence

My mother tells me cussing reinforces negative vibes.
I cuss when I’m happy too.

A lucky person will be fed

Luck only compensates for survival.

A lucky person probably won’t amount to much

but a lucky person who acts

should be more successful

than the average active person.

A lucky person who stays at home

will be fed.