Kenneth P. Gurney: Three Poems

 

Pisum sativum

If people stopped speaking over lunch

and, instead, spoke under lunch,

we would quickly spot

all the nefarious women

giving blow jobs 

for unspecified reasons

(ranging from sexual titillation

to some twisted submissive

domination passion play)

and we might be surprised

how many men copy that action

when their job is on the line,

at least, metaphorically, 

or watch their noses turn brown

(which is Braun in German)

over a conversation we might

mistake for sports talk

due to all the athletic figures of speech

and, if we looked out of the corners

of our eyes, we might see, as well,

all the shades of dogs who wish 

to be in this restaurant 

scarfing up (or down) tidbits

that fall from tables to the carpet—

like those three peas

that fell from your salad fork

on the way to your mouth.

 

Climate Change

We decided to plant oxygen 

on our farm next spring.

Even though dad argued 

in favor of hydrogen

believing hydrogen fuel cell cars

will be all the rage in a year.

So we worked out a little compromise

and planted the south field

with hydrogen, but there

was so much pollen drift 

caused by the west wind 

that about one half 

of the east field

harvested a flood.

 

She kept thistle seeds in her pocket

Unexpectedly, 

one hundred thousand

nude Barbie dolls

washed up on the shore

just down the beach

from the pier

where the beauty pageant

for eight year old girls

reached its 

crowning climax

and, incredibly,

the solitary sunbather

with the purple topped hair

absorbed by 

the Girl Who Kicked

the Hornets’ Nest

vanished just as

a wild horse galloped 

down the beach

scattering blond heads.

bio:  Kenneth P. Gurney lives in Albuquerque, NM, USA.  He edits the New Mexico poetry anthology Adobe Walls.  To view a full biography, publishing credits and available books visit http://www.kpgurney.me/Poet/Welcome.html